Sunday, September 4, 2011

My dilemma

I'm trying to decide if I should stay another year once my contract is up, or go home. When I first came to Korea I didn't really think I'd be here longer than a year. After a few months, I started thinking about renewing my contract. 
I love my job. I know for a fact this is the easiest teaching job I'll ever have, and this job is preparing me for my career. Plus its nice to learn how to be a teacher in this environment. If I stayed another year, I'm pretty positive I'd get to be in the same schools with the same students and mostly the same staff, which would be really nice. I wouldn't have to start over. And who knows what job I'd be able to get in America, if I could get a job at all. I'm lucky to be employed and have a paycheck every month, especially with student loans...
But, I really miss my friends and my family. I've got good people over here, but its not the same. It's hard to not be there for the birthdays and weddings and miss out on life back home. It's also getting really hard to be a foreigner. Things that were funny or no big deal in the beginning are becoming frustrating. I'm afraid if I stay another year those things will make me hate this country, and I don't want that. I'm learning Korean, but I'm no where close to having a real conversation with a Korean person. Most of my teacher friends are going home at the end of our contract, or haven't decided yet, so I'm not sure who I would hang out with if I stay another year.
So there are reasons to stay and reasons to leave. I feel like I need to make this decision in the next few months because Yuri is only going to be the English teacher next year if I stay. My decision affects her too and out of respect for her I don't want to wait until the last minute. Plus, if I'm coming home after this year I'll use my Christmas break to take another fun vacation. If I'm staying in Korea another year I want to be home for Christmas. I need to know what I'm doing in order to buy a plane ticket. I've been praying about this and I want you to pray for me too. I want to do what God wants me to do, otherwise whatever I choose is going to be a big, giant failure.

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